world love and life

our world
my world
same world
that twists my logic by day and night.

our love
my love
same love
that pounds nails straight into my heart.

our life
my life
same life
that lingers until death do us apart.

can i deny
this world
this love
this life
that brings upon so much pain
gracing us with the occasional presence of happiness?

can i surrender
this world
this love
this life
simply because it's the easier way out?

if world
love
life
can communicate with each other
and figure a way out to stop ruining each other hand in hand
could we brighten this world
love
life
with more smiles?

or is this too much to ask for.

communication for happiness.
too much.

playing on emptiness

are you really just irresponsible
or did you simply forget about me already...?

i know it's only been so many days
and that we don't have enough to build on.

i am just blindly obeying my feelings..
and trusting that feelings

are sufficient

to us.

take a sip - it's our bitter life.

you know what's really hard?
pretending to be okay to the world
when you are crawling with bleeding knees.

the blood that leaves a trial of hope and dispair
whilst waiting for someone to clean this mess up
and something to numb the pain
becomes a process that everyone someday goes through
on different scales.

whether or not you make it alive
however, is an entirely different story.

How long does it take to fall in love.
A second?
A day?
A month?
A year?

Can't we just follow our hearts.
And love.
And care about nothing else..

my lucky doughnut.

Even when you're tearing me apart
and screaming out our pain...
Our tears caress every inch of our face
showing comfort
and the understanding
of each others emotions...

Sometimes, this all seems to too good to be true
It's like a dream just being with you
Caz, baby I never thought that I'd get enough
But I'm satisfied and filled with just your love...

November 16th, 2010

I wrote this on November 16th.
I'm posting this up now

"driving home today was especially intriguing

simply beacause i was tired out of my mind

stressed out of my comfort zone

burning under sorrows

i was seeing real things and i thought i was being delusional

then something suddenly dawned on me

i feel so lucky

i know

l u c k y

i haven't felt this way in a long time

i don't even know what came to be

could it be the sudden realization that my life is about to restart very soon?

could it be that i am finding a balance between school and personal life?

could it simply be because i am allowing myself to believe that

for once

change is good?

i tell myself everyday that this is true

it's my mantra

but at the same time

is this truth a punishment to my heart and of my past?

i am so afraid

so afraid that

everything will turn chaotic

that everything i gained will all turn into swords and stab me

that everything i have learned will turn against me

i'm starting to wonder

if this is worth it

if this will ever happen

if.

i live in two worlds right now

one, where only we exist

two, where you don't exist.

whatever it is

i am t h a n k f u l

for having a shoulder to lean on

for having something to look forward to at the end of the day

for having something warm my dead heart

i wonder if we will expire

等

說不定這也是一種幸福的資格"

I guess this is what they call

Love.

l o .. st.

I forgot how to express myself through words
because I am no longer a lost writer
who can't express her feelings through tears but can do so through words.

I am no longer a writer.
I am just a failure.